Lemons
by Konnichiwa Minna
Summary: Things like THIS happen when Edward isn't around and Bella is bored out of her mind... BxE. Rated T. Oneshot. NO lemons. R&R please!


**A/N: **I just randomly thought of this and the idea made me laugh. I'm not sure how well I've written it, though. Oh well, I hope you enjoy. Review, please!

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**Lemons  
By Konnichiwa MInna**

It was an ordinary Saturday afternoon in Forks. The sun was shining brightly and birds were singing.

Hah. I wish.

Obviously, it was raining. The depressing weather did nothing to help my depressed mood. Edward had gone hunting and I was utterly bored.

In fact, I was so incredibly bored, that I decided to do some English homework. It had to be typed, so I went and sat at my desk, and turned on the computer. After waiting for approximately ten minutes, it had finally finished loading. I opened Microsoft Word.

Five minutes passed as I just stared blankly at the screen. Great. I couldn't think of how to start my essay, so I decided to open the internet and search for some ideas.

Somehow I got sidetracked from what I planned to do, and ended up reading reviews for _Wuthering Heights_. At the end of one review, the person had recommended a website to go to if you had finished reading the book and if you were still in love with the characters. Intrigued, I clicked the link.

Fanfiction. Huh. Looks interesting, I suppose. I clicked the _Romeo and Juliet _category and a huge list of stories appeared. I clicked the first one, which apparently had lemons in it. Lemons? Who writes a story about lemons? I figured it might be amusing, so I clicked on it.

I read the first few lines. It seemed fascinating enough, so I kept reading.

Suddenly, I heard a silky chuckle from behind me.

I spun the chair around super fast, surprised that _he_ was back early, and fell off of it.

"Ouch," I muttered, rubbing my backside. Edward offered me his hand and I gratefully accepted. He pulled me up easily and I stumbled into his chest. He wrapped an arm around my waist. I stepped back slightly, so that I could see his face.

"So... what are you reading?" he chuckled, giving me his crooked grin.

"U-um," I responded, dazzled. How does he expect me to answer coherently, when he's giving me such a breath-taking smile?

Edward, probably realizing I was incapable of forming a logical answer, gazed over at the computer screen. He was silent for a few seconds, before giving me an incredulous look.

"Bella, do you actually read this sort of thing?" he asked. I wondered what was wrong with it.

"N-no. I just stumbled across it and thought it looked interesting," I mumbled truthfully, still dazzled.

His face displayed several different emotions: shock, confusion, interest, amusement, and finally anger.

"I hope you're not looking at this because it's what you want." Now I was completely baffled. What on Earth was he talking about?

"What are you talking about? It's just a story... what's wrong with me reading it?"

"I hope it's not giving you ideas. You know I would never be able to do that. I could lose control... I could hurt you," he replied, gravely.

Perplexed by what he was saying, I decided to read more of the story and see if it gave me any clue as to what he was lecturing me about.

So I sat down and started reading where I had left off.

As I was reading, I started to see what he was talking about. My cheeks turned pink.

I continued reading, and every sentence I read caused my cheeks to become more and more hot.

Finally, once I had finished, I swore my cheeks were ready to burst into flame.

"Bella...?"

I couldn't help it; I squealed. I was so tremendously shocked and embarrassed, that I wanted to crawl under a rock and die.

"I-I-I-I had NO idea that _that_ is what the story was about!" I shrieked, flabbergasted.

I heard Edward sigh, clearly relieved.

"I'm glad. I was worried for a while that you were actually into all that... kinky stuff," he admitted.

I covered my face in humiliation. Thank God Emmett wasn't here.

Edward, back to his good mood, chuckled again.

"Come. Let's go get you something to eat. You're hungry." I smiled sheepishly, once I heard my stomach rumble rather loudly.

Edward swept me off my feet and ran me downstairs in search of food.

_**Meanwhile...**_

_(Emmett's POV)_

"I'm off to see the Wizard, the wonderful Wizard of Oz!" I sang repeatedly to myself on the way to Bella's house. Alice said there was something I would definitely want to see... and unable to contain my immense curiosity, I decided to go and check it out.

Once I arrived, I jumped to the second story, and swung Bella's window open. _Slam. _Oops, looks like I used a little too much force to open it. Ah well.

I looked around the room. Hmm? Why weren't they in Bella's room? My eyes wandered around her room and landed on the computer. There were words on it. Alice had mentioned that in her vision I was reading something. Maybe it was the words on the computer screen? Inquisitive, I leapt off the windowsill and walked towards the computer and read what was on the screen.

Unable to contain my laughter, I fell on the floor and rolled around, howling with laughter.

I could definitely use Bella's secret desires to embarrass her! This would be mountains of fun!

**End.**

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**A/N: **So, yeah. I randomly came up with this. It was pretty funny in my brain. I'm not sure if it's as funny on the computer, so I'm sorry if it's not.

Anyway, review and tell me what you thought about it! Hmm, should I write one more chapter with Emmett embarrassing her? Or is this a good place to stop it?

I'd love to hear people's opinions, so please review!!!

Love,

KM

P.S. Writing a short review, such as "Funny," or "I like it," is better than no review at all... I'm getting so many visitors (more than 300!)... but very few reviews... I wonder why?

P.S.S. I would love you forever if you read my other Twilight story, Pop Star Isabella Swan.


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